In war, you are trained to wake before the sun;
with a rifle in arm
prepared for the dawn.
An attack that may never come.

Yesterday a world lived; nobody cared. Today a world died; everybody cares. And so, too late, we realized existence. Everything that we learned to accept was no longer ours.

A feeling of being spoiled can only exist as long as there are things left to spoil us with.

Emptiness is a state of being, whereas fulfillment is a state of mind.

A life I imagined being unfair, with all my bad breaks preordained.

Self-pity became my forte’ of living.

These are the excuses I used for hurting others.

I was guilty of never utilizing things that were bequeathed eyes; true emotions and me…

…Never surrender. I must hold strong until the dawn.

The choices of my life were never realities, but, rather facades.

My life is and has always been sequestered in non-descript beginnings and endings.

And so all the women in my life that were pure, honest and loving, I have chosen to ignore you all.

Where you have all seen blossoms on the trees, I’ve seen dying leaves.

I would ask forgiveness, but that belongs to the worthy.

My only debts in life I owe to myself.

All my nights and days belong to those that I have known, and who have cared.

I am so much poorer for never having cared… riches belong only to those that did!

The memories that I am left with only bring me pain; a pain too excruciating for me to ever be able to describe.

Only now as I lay on this unbalanced bed, eyes open, nothing coming in, do I realize that throughout my years I’ve never experienced true happiness…

…Never surrender. I must hold strong until the dawn.

My chances in life were many, but I chose to make them none.

There are no places in life that one can run away from their memories.

Rather than people hiding in memories, they hid in yours.

They follow you around all your days and lay quietly alongside you when your life is through.

No, I will not rise this morning and go out.

If I should, I would chance meeting someone new, and today she too would only become another memory…

…The dawn attack is gone;
you may live one;
wounds of battle will be fresh;
but you are blessed.

You never surrendered to your doubts;
the darkness, depressions and the enemy scouts.
To conquer the day, you must awake;
to be free, you must break.

Break from your mind and all your reservations;
never to give in to the darker temptations.

You survived the dawn attack;
and there will be more.
But you never surrendered,
you will survive this war.